i am so sick of standing ovations.
look a guy! hes talking! i am not offended!
LETS GET UP AND CLAP OMG YES TO INFINITY
look a person! they just SANG A SONG! i am tone deaf so i love it!
STAND UP AND CLAP! social pressure! everyone is standing!
we need to put some rules down. this is getting out of hand.
rule 1. one standing ovation per event. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH PEOPLE.
rule 2. if there is a standing ovation and someone is sitting they are not a terrible person. every lame-o soccer mom / one-toothed old dummy thinks everything is amazing. they stand up and clap like a cave man seeing a seeing a man riding a unicycle on a rope over the grand canyon juggling. whereas your typical person sees some girl who looks like david bowie who just read an uncomfortable poem about love. id rather keep my seat thank you.
rule 3. everyone gets to initiate one standing ovation per lifetime. thats it. one initiation, after which a red S gets branded into your right butt cheek. that was it for that person. ONE INITIATION. this will ensure that the people standing actually mean it. someone spent there only initiation on this. AND they are about to get branded. ALSO the brand will be just hot enough to give 2nd degree burns NOT 3rd degree. this is so it hurts more. itll be so epic when a bro stands up. MAN HE REALLY LIKES THESE TACOS. NO WAIT. I THINK HES STANDING. O MY GIRAFFE. HE IS GIVING A STANDING OVATION TO THESE TACOS! THIS GUY IS SO LEGIT. WHAT A COMMITMENT.
rule 4. every time the movie rambo : first blood comes on, everyone in the room must give a standing ovation from the beginning until the part where stallone pulls the guy off of a motorcycle then makes a shirt out of a burlap sack. then you are allowed to sit down. this will not count for anyone's one initiation.
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1 comments:
I have a story for you. At our weekly staff devo a few months back Levi challenged us to be more enthusiastic. I felt if e'er there were such a time in need of an ovation, it was then. Rising to my feet, in complete confidence that I could start a revolution, I used my one ovation. Nobody joined. People just stared. I stood... clapping. After a sufficiently awkward silence I sat and grumbled to myself, "biggest waste of an ovation ever."
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