peeps are out of work. just show up at a construction site! there's always space at the construction site!
these are the people i always see at every roadside construction site.
1. the guy who looks like he is about to do work - he is holding a jackhammer or something over a hole and looking down it. he doesn't actually do anything, but you assume he will be after you pass by. here's a little secret - he doesn't do anything.
2. the guy who supervises the first guy - he is usually wearing an orange jacket and a sleeveless t-shirt. he is basically an underpaid actor. he is acting like he is doing / has done anything and let me tell you he does a good job. they usually pick a guy who sweats a lot so it looks like he is doing something. basically his job is to wipe sweat off his brow every 2 to 3 seconds. this guy should win an academy award. that is filled with dynamite.
3. the phone guy - it wouldn't be a construction site without a guy on a huge zack morris phone. my guess would be that no one is on the other end. if there is someone they are probably saying ... "at the tone ... the time will be ... 2:01 pm". meanwhile our tax dollars pay for that phone call. the least he could do is call his mom. but that would be making good use of time ... now wouldn't it?
4. the guy eating lunch - no matter what time it is you can find a construction man eating a meal. 4 pm? no problem. 2 am? of course ... its time to eat. he has been working so hard. take a load off. get some rest.
5. the supervisor - the guy who makes sure the project doesn't finish on time.
6. cone guy - the guy who puts out all the cones 3 weeks before construction starts. this deserves a swift kick to the groin. ALSO, he puts out like infinity cones. as in like a cone every ten inches for 5 miles.
7. the guy holding the slow sign - if there ever was a job on earth that was unnecessary this was it. and it doesn't help that they typically pick the worst looking of the bunch. this is the equivalent of a concert venue hiring a guy to hold the lead singers microphone instead of ... i don't know ... putting it on a stand?
8. truck man - this is the guy sitting in the driver's seat of a truck. the bed of the truck has nothing in it. the truck itself hasn't moved in 3 days, and yet he sits, desperately awaiting the moment he can move it for the sake of his fellow workers. or maybe sleeping. ya it looks like he is sleeping. feet on the dashboard, windows down. our tax dollars hard at work.
i suppose all of these people could be explained to me by a construction worker who was a good debater. he could convince me that numbers 1-8 all were necessary or whatever. but he is forgetting about the last guy.
9. the guy that pushes me over the edge - this is the worker that is doing nothing and also doesn't even act like he is doing anything. he just stands, turns air into carbon dioxide and gets fatter.
i was going to write a tenth person, but the union told me i have to wait for a pay raise. i am going to post this anyway. to make sure people know i need a pay raise. or else i am not going back to work. in the mean time, enjoy this unfinished blog. target date to finish : july 2012.
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I don't mean for this comment to come off as self righteous or preachy. I stumbled on your blog through a series of Facebook links. So perhaps I have no reason for being here. But I figure you put this all out on the Internet so its fair game for constructive criticism.
There seems to be a disconnect between your "interests" and your observations. Your interests include your relationship with Jesus and The Bible.
Your observations, however, mostly consist of shallow and mean-spirited judgments meant to ridicule and belittle people you find annoying. Perhaps this blog is all supposed to be a joke, but when your Twitter feed talks about how you just finished preaching out of Matthew I have to wonder if you're actually getting the message.
In case you don't already understand the obvious, those construction workers, Starbucks patrons, and "fat" people you loathe so much are the same people that make up church congregations. You may want to rethink whether or not being a pastor is your true calling.
PS: don't feel obligated to post this comment. I don't really care whether or not its public.
@sarah - thanks
@nate - i think you do mean to come off as preachy. why else would you tell a person you have never met that they should change their profession after minutes of interaction with minimal amount of things that they wrote.
i dont loathe fat people or construction workers. i loathe the system that we live in that allows them to be socially accepted while doing / acting / living in a way that i deem is wasteful, in my opinion.
part of the humor of this blog is making fun of the way people think about things. i often write things in first person that have no basis on what i actually think or feel, they are meant to be a comedic reflection on the american stereotype.
sarcasm, irony and satire are all forms of communication employed by Christ himself and many intelligent writers throughout the centuries.
i do however appreciate your reading of my writing and i am very glad you left me a mean spirited comment with no way to reach you back other than to post here.
perhaps, nate, if i shouldnt be a pastor because of my overwhelming hatred of all people groups i could facelessly criticizing people i have never met for the perceived purpose of making myself feel momentarily superior.
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