Roidasaurus Meathead National League

Baseball is so boring. And lame. Plus like all the players take steroids. I mean roids. They are total roidasaurus meatheads. They often times walk out on the field then realize they still have needles in their biceps then walk off awkwardly to take it out. That is why I suggest the Major Leagues close down except the cool teams like the dodgers, the cubs, the yankees and the red sox and they open a new league called the Roidasaurus Meathead National League.

This would be a league where you can take as many enhancing drugs as possible and then play baseball. Except they would use a tennis ball so it would fly farther. Oh, and the bat would be made of Flubber. And at the end of every inning there is a cage fight between two of the players. And free hot dogs for everyone. And at the end of the seventh inning there is a steak eating contest by one player from each team, whoever eats the most steaks in five minutes gets two points free for his team.

Plus, if you get tested negative for performance enhancing drugs you get deported to Australia even if you aren’t originally from there.

And if your bicep exlodes you get extra points.

And if you have cork in your bat you get extra points.

And the winners get to punch the losers right in the face like 100 times really hard.

And the mascots are totally meatheadesque like the Chicago Steaks or the New York Bacon covered Steaks or the Seatle Fistfaces or the Los Angeles Knuckle Sandwiches or the San Antonio Nerd Bashers or the Miami Fake Urine Samples.

Plus free steroids for the first 1000 fans at each game.

And the LA Knuckle Sandwiches stadium is shaped like a giant steak.