McShort McStory

Almost everyone in the United States of McDonald’s is happy these days. Everyone has a wonderful job. Some are clerks, some managers, some suits who make the big decisions. Some cow-slaughterers, some floor moppers, some delivery men. But all, big jobs or small carried with them a pride. They were helping people eat cheeseburgers.

Above all the jobs in the US of M is one called a thinker. It is what kids dream about becoming. A thinker is a person who sits in a room creating ideas to help people eat more cheeseburgers.

The world’s most renowned thinker is a boy named Ronald. He gets paid twenty six trillion McDollars an hour to sit in a red and yellow room and think. Plus, all the cheeseburgers he can eat. Ronald eats a lot of cheeseburgers. Good citizens eat a lot of cheeseburgers.

Ronald came up with the idea for the McCatapult. It is a device launches up to three cheeseburgers at a time from the top of your local McDonald’s directly into your mouth. He also came up with the idea for the McHat. It is a hat that has a cheeseburger on top of it. In case you get hungry. Style and substance. But that was Ronald, always one step ahead of everyone. He was truly a hero.

The day Ronald finally got the recognition he deserved was when he came up with his masterpiece, the double cheeseburger. So simple, yet, so perfect. Ronald was awarded the Nobel Prize for McPeace that year.

Today Ronald sat in his thinking room for 2 hours and then picked up a red phone next to him. He dialed on the yellow buttons. “I have come up with my best idea yet.” Within thirty seconds, eleven men in suits came to Ronald’s thinking room and gently knocked on the door. He let them in and offered them a cheeseburger. Only one of them was hungry but all of them accepted and ate with Mcsmiles. Ronald told them his idea.

“A triple cheeseburger.”

The eleven men immediately stood and slowly clapped for the boy. He truly was a genius. Five of the men teared up. Three smiled ear to ear. One picked up the phone and called his mother. One closed his eyes and looked like he was riding a rainbow. The final suited man just stood in sheer shock. It was the greatest idea in the history of the United States of McDonald’s.