live in the 22nd century.

I started lifting weights in the shower. Why? Because life is better if you do as many things as possible at the same time. Pack your life full of activities then add on a few more. It’ll be better… trust me.

Instead of just watching TV, watch three TV’s at the same time, and each time any of them go to commercial, be sure to change the channel so as not to miss anything. Perhaps keep one screen on sports, one on comedy and one on a depressing daytime soap opera. That ought to keep your emotions in perfect balance.

Also, why not eat a huge sandwich while watching? I suggest one with ham, turkey, salami, American cheese, mustard, mayonnaise and a pickle. And maybe some roast beef too. And while your at the fridge grab a hot dog and a blueberry pancake, we’ll put those on there too.

While eating, why not also pull out your laptop and check your e-mail. Be sure to send your grandmother a quick note telling her how much fun you are having doing all these activities.

Bored? While eating, watching and checking, why not grab your Walkman and put one headphone in, some of the commercials are boring and it would be better if you had some music going on. Maybe grab that old Creed tape from the attic. Or maybe you should leave that up there and listen to something else.

While you are up for your Walkman, go ahead and grab that old footbath your fat uncle used to use. You deserve a break. Bathe your feet while watching, eating, checking and listening.

That’s probably enough.

Oh, your phone is ringing… better pick it up. It’s your good friend Joe, why not invite him over? And tell him to bring his chessboard so you can play a quick game while you watch, eat, check, listen and bathe. Maybe you guys could carry on a little conversation. Maybe about how you like your eggs cooked the best. You could say over easy and he could say scrambled. Then you guys could argue. While you eat, watch, check, listen, bathe, play and discuss. Maybe you could also pet your dog too. And feed your fish. And push a button that scratches your butt.