Pearizona.

I was in Arizona today. Arizona was terrible today. I am guessing it has been that way for a while. Here's a few wordplays to maximize your Arizona experience should you someday find yourself there.

1. If you are on your way to Arizona and you can't find it, either because you are incredibly dumb or you are mapless, simply ask a worker at a gas station... "Brother can you Spare-izona?"
2. Florida has oranges, Georgia has peaches, Washington has apples, Wisconsin has cheese. Arizona consider yourself among those ranks. Pearizona.
3. Ordering a burger? Try asking for it cooked 'rare-izona'.
4. Have a mullet? Sick of rocking the bowl cut? Try getting a new hairizona.
5. In the car? Bored out of your mind sitting in your chairizona all day? Try spotting mare-izonas out the window, maybe add some ribbons to your hair for some flairizona or play a game with your brothers and sisters in the car. How about truth or dare-izona? Or perhaps just look forward to your parents and tell them you care-izona.
6. World villains, why not consider Arizona for your hideout? You could call it your lairizona.
The majority of the state is covered with outstandingly boring desert. If the government found out where you were, no one would even want to come find you, and if they do just say "This isn't Fairizona!"
7. If all else fails, you could just run naked through the desert yelling "bare-izona!!".