dear diary,
this morning i woke up and drank a whole cup full of water. and by cup i mean pitcher. it was so great. then like ten seconds later i drank another one, even better than the first.
then i was like wow, i need to pee so i peed into a toilet full of water. then i was like sweet i'm done so i flushed the toilet...guess what rushed in there? yep, water. water like totally has my back, it dilutes my urine. none of my other friends do that.
then i took a nap. on my bed filled with flippin' water. its called a "water bed". i invented it last summer.
then i went to school and drank out of a water fountain for like 2 hours and no one could stop me because i am the drinking fountain admiral, i have a badge to prove it. sometimes i make people i don't like only drink for like 2 seconds then i flash the badge and they move on. what better punishment for an enemy than a withholding of water.
then in class my teacher told me the greatest thing i have ever heard, i am made of water. i totally started kissing myself. she said we are all 75% water. i bet i am more like 85 or 90%.
my life goal is to become 100% water.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas.
Click Here for a Merry Christmas.
(this will not guarantee you a merry Christmas, only a merry 5 minutes)
(this will not guarantee you a merry Christmas, only a merry 5 minutes)
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Jerry Jenkins Essay Contest Year 2.
This is an essay I wrote this morning in about 45 minutes for a contest.
Last year I lost.
If I win I will be rich.
Every ounce of water you have ever seen is dead. Every spray of the shower, turn of the faucet, flush of the toilet. Every drop in every cup, glass, bottle, or jug on earth. Every wave of every ocean. Every splash in every sea, lake or pool. Dead water. Seventy-five percent of you. Dead water. Why is it dead? Well I’ll let Jesus answer that one. When talking to the woman at the well of dead water, He said,
“Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst again.” (John 4:13-14)
Simply the well water was dead because it was not living. But more clearly the answer is this, the well water was dead because it was not coming from Jesus. She was living off of dead water. We all live off of dead water, physically. We need dead water to live. How ironic. But the reality is this, if we plan to live longer than seventy years, we are going to need a serious water upgrade. As in, this dead water stuff is nice for now, put a lemon and some ice with it in a cup and then sit in some of it heated up to 103 degrees. That works for a while. But…although the dead water is helping us live, ultimately, we are all dying and quick. Dead water is not enough. Dead water works for a while, but eventually we are going to need something else. Enter Jesus. Here is a guy who understands water. In John 4 Jesus is tired, just like we are, but rather than rush to the dead water, He gives a woman a chance at some of the good stuff…from His secret stash.
“If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water.” ( John 4:10)
I have lived a majority of my life, even time under the name ‘Christian’, living off of dead water. I spent too much time living off of dead water. I was much too concerned with existing physically. I was so caught up in the dead water cycle. Living for what’s dying. Jesus calls us to die for what’s living…i.e. Him. Don’t let the irony fool you into thinking this is a joke. Rather than live for what’s dying (my pride, my friends, my infatuation with Bob Dylan) I have decided to die for what is living. I used to think that dead water was enough. I was the woman at the well. But, Hallelujah, I was there at the right time, and Jesus said that all you need to do is ask.
Let me be more specific. I grew up in a Christian home. We listened to Christian music, read Christian books everything you would expect. And while all those things are good, sometimes a child can think that’s all there is to it. And I suppose I was one of those children. I had all those great things, tools to bring me to the well of living water, but I never drunk deep from it. I sat outside the well, slowly dying. There is so much irony here, it is laughable. I was dying, feet away from exactly what I needed to live. Well, I grew up, came to Moody and one day realized that I did not even truly know Jesus. I knew about Him, I believed in Him but I didn’t know Him in my spirit. I began to call upon the Lord, desiring to know Him, thirsting for that living water. God poured it out on me. I began to weep in Church, during prayers, when I was alone, out of thankfulness to God. No glory to me, it was a taste of the living water. It began to fill up my soul with sweet satisfaction. I began to write poems of thanks and praise to God, to pray for my needy friends and family and work for Him with joy. Now that I look back, I don’t know how I thought I could live without the living water. I have a taste for it now, couldn’t go back to just that dead stuff...no sir. Here’s one of the poems:
I prayed for the love of Jesus to fill my heart.
It flowed like water.
But this water was different. This was living water.
Filled my heart to the top. I no longer felt empty. Hallelujah.
But it didn’t stop flowing.
The living water spilled over the sides and hit my toes with a little splash.
It filled up my feet to my ankles.
And then my legs, my chest, then the living water spilled over down to my hands.
All the evil I had done with them was washed clean.
It filled up my arms, my neck, then my face.
It filled up my mouth, washing it clean.
Every condescending statement, every foul, filthy word. Gone. Clean.
But I couldn’t breath. I had to die to myself.
Then it washed out my eyes and my ears. Plenty to clean there.
Then I was full to the tippy top.
But it didn’t stop flowing.
The water poured from my mouth like a fire hydrant.
Rivers of living water.
I will never be thirsty again.
Dead water is all around us. I spend a few minutes each day cleaning myself with it. But the biggest event in my life, the turning point and the climax all rolled into one was when the Lord allowed me to see my need for living water. My need to die for what’s living. Now, I will never be the same again. Now, I am finally alive.
Last year I lost.
If I win I will be rich.
Every ounce of water you have ever seen is dead. Every spray of the shower, turn of the faucet, flush of the toilet. Every drop in every cup, glass, bottle, or jug on earth. Every wave of every ocean. Every splash in every sea, lake or pool. Dead water. Seventy-five percent of you. Dead water. Why is it dead? Well I’ll let Jesus answer that one. When talking to the woman at the well of dead water, He said,
“Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst again.” (John 4:13-14)
Simply the well water was dead because it was not living. But more clearly the answer is this, the well water was dead because it was not coming from Jesus. She was living off of dead water. We all live off of dead water, physically. We need dead water to live. How ironic. But the reality is this, if we plan to live longer than seventy years, we are going to need a serious water upgrade. As in, this dead water stuff is nice for now, put a lemon and some ice with it in a cup and then sit in some of it heated up to 103 degrees. That works for a while. But…although the dead water is helping us live, ultimately, we are all dying and quick. Dead water is not enough. Dead water works for a while, but eventually we are going to need something else. Enter Jesus. Here is a guy who understands water. In John 4 Jesus is tired, just like we are, but rather than rush to the dead water, He gives a woman a chance at some of the good stuff…from His secret stash.
“If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water.” ( John 4:10)
I have lived a majority of my life, even time under the name ‘Christian’, living off of dead water. I spent too much time living off of dead water. I was much too concerned with existing physically. I was so caught up in the dead water cycle. Living for what’s dying. Jesus calls us to die for what’s living…i.e. Him. Don’t let the irony fool you into thinking this is a joke. Rather than live for what’s dying (my pride, my friends, my infatuation with Bob Dylan) I have decided to die for what is living. I used to think that dead water was enough. I was the woman at the well. But, Hallelujah, I was there at the right time, and Jesus said that all you need to do is ask.
Let me be more specific. I grew up in a Christian home. We listened to Christian music, read Christian books everything you would expect. And while all those things are good, sometimes a child can think that’s all there is to it. And I suppose I was one of those children. I had all those great things, tools to bring me to the well of living water, but I never drunk deep from it. I sat outside the well, slowly dying. There is so much irony here, it is laughable. I was dying, feet away from exactly what I needed to live. Well, I grew up, came to Moody and one day realized that I did not even truly know Jesus. I knew about Him, I believed in Him but I didn’t know Him in my spirit. I began to call upon the Lord, desiring to know Him, thirsting for that living water. God poured it out on me. I began to weep in Church, during prayers, when I was alone, out of thankfulness to God. No glory to me, it was a taste of the living water. It began to fill up my soul with sweet satisfaction. I began to write poems of thanks and praise to God, to pray for my needy friends and family and work for Him with joy. Now that I look back, I don’t know how I thought I could live without the living water. I have a taste for it now, couldn’t go back to just that dead stuff...no sir. Here’s one of the poems:
I prayed for the love of Jesus to fill my heart.
It flowed like water.
But this water was different. This was living water.
Filled my heart to the top. I no longer felt empty. Hallelujah.
But it didn’t stop flowing.
The living water spilled over the sides and hit my toes with a little splash.
It filled up my feet to my ankles.
And then my legs, my chest, then the living water spilled over down to my hands.
All the evil I had done with them was washed clean.
It filled up my arms, my neck, then my face.
It filled up my mouth, washing it clean.
Every condescending statement, every foul, filthy word. Gone. Clean.
But I couldn’t breath. I had to die to myself.
Then it washed out my eyes and my ears. Plenty to clean there.
Then I was full to the tippy top.
But it didn’t stop flowing.
The water poured from my mouth like a fire hydrant.
Rivers of living water.
I will never be thirsty again.
Dead water is all around us. I spend a few minutes each day cleaning myself with it. But the biggest event in my life, the turning point and the climax all rolled into one was when the Lord allowed me to see my need for living water. My need to die for what’s living. Now, I will never be the same again. Now, I am finally alive.
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